Not Him
by Kali08
Summary: What do you do when your true love is also your worst enemy? What if you also found out they were doing suiccidel attempts? Could you stand living if they were to ever die?
1. Chapter 1

**Not Him**

_No, not yet. Not him. Why? Why me? Why did I have to fall in love with my enemy? Why can't it be one of my friends?_ Harry thought as he walked the halls._ I can't believe it! I don't love him. Not him. I can't! Can I? _

Harry had found a note on his bed from Draco, his worst enemy. He was always sick to his stomach when he saw him… Or he used to be. He used to have a disgusted look on his face when Draco would walk past him. Smiling that perfect smile; showing his perfect teeth while his blue-gray eyes sparkled. He hated him right? Right. 

When Harry went to his room to get his broom, he saw the note. It was perfectly folded. He figured it was from his good friend; his is female friend. She was perfect: Hermione. He opened the letter carefully. He read it and was shocked to find it wasn't from Hermione but from Draco. It read: 

_Harry, _

I'm sorry. Sorry for everything. I can't stand it anymore. You and I both know we were meant for each other. Why can't we just express our feelings? Well if you won't, then I will. Harry I think I like you. No, scratch that. Harry, I think I love you. I can't stop thinking about you and I know you can't stop thinking about me. I know what you're thinking, so no, this isn't a joke. This is real. This is the truth on how I feel for you. Meet me in the dungeons in the old abandoned class room. I'll wait for you there. 

Draco 

He didn't have feelings for Draco though! It was impossible to have feelings for Draco… NO, its _Malfoy_. Malfoy was the enemy. He was evil. Pure evil. So why did he near the old classroom? Maybe it was his curiosity. Yea that's it! It was just his curiosity. He wanted to really know if Draco was telling the truth... Right? 

"Harry you...you came." Draco stumbled. 

"Yea. I guess I did...." Harry managed to say. 

"I wasn't lying. I know you think I was but I didn't." Draco said. 

"I...I...I don't think..." Harry couldn't seem to say the words. The simple five words, _Draco I don't like you. Draco I don't like you. Say it Harry. SAY IT!_ He kept repeating it over and over in his head, but he couldn't manage to say those words. Damn himself to hell, but he couldn't manage to say those five damn words! 

"Harry, please don't say them. I know what you're thinking; you're not gay… you don't like me. Well if you don't like me then why did you come?" Draco asked. 

"Cur...cur...cur" SAY IT GOD DAMN IT! 

"Curiosity killed the cat." Draco smiled at his own joke. 

"I'm not a cat." Harry said shyly. 

"Harry please. Can't we talk this through?" 

"I...I guess." Harry stammered out. 

"Harry, I see you in the halls all the time. I watch you brush your hair over your scar. I watch you float in the air… I watch you all the fucking time. Every chance I get. Don't you know this?" 

"I see you when... I watch you when... Draco I watch every step you take. I feel sad when you're angry and I'm happy for you when you are too." Harry said looking at his feet. "Draco do...do I...do I love you?" There he said it. He told Draco. Well, he asked him at least. 

"I don't know. Harry, can we at least become friends?" Draco asked. 

"I guess, but it has to be slow..." Harry said looking up. 

Draco walked closer to Harry. He smiled and leaned in. He kissed Harry's soft cheek. Then Harry looked at him in surprise and gave Draco a peck on the lips. "I have to go now..." Harry said embarrassed. 

"Of course. I'll see you around." Draco said smiling. Harry nodded and walked away leaving Draco behind. He didn't dare look back. Didn't dare at all. 

  
That evening during dinner Harry sat next to Ron as Hermione was in the library, her sanctuary. 

"Where have you been?" Ron asked. 

"Places." Harry said as he ate lunch quickly. He looked up and across several tables spotting Draco looking straight at him. Smiling. "I have to go." He said quickly as he got up and left. Draco followed him. He didn't even bother to look back at Ron confused face. 

"Harry! Wait!" Harry turned around to see Draco right in front of him. "Hey. Can we talk in the room again?" 

What was Draco doing? Was he purposely trying to ruin Harry's life? 

"Sure." And just like that Harry found himself in the old abandoned room with Draco. Making out with him? Draco was putting his hands up Harry's shirt and Harry didn't really care. He wanted Draco. He wanted him: then and now. Was this wrong? "Draco, please… Wait we're going a little to fast." 

"Okay. Okay. I can take it slower." Draco slowly pulled his hands out from under Harry's shirt, not really wanting to stop. Harry looked down to see slash marks on Draco's wrists. He grabs one and stared. 

"Draco? What's this?" 

"_Shit. I forgot to do that spell to remove them this morning._" He muttered to himself. 

"You did this? But why?" Harry looked into Draco's eyes. He had questions and he wanted answers. 

"Harry I can explain." 

"Start." Harry demanded. Was Draco cutting himself? Was Draco a cutter? 

_**Thanks Quila for being my beta and helping me to get my story up!**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Not Him -- Chapter 2**

"Harry? Do you still care for me?" Draco asked the following day. 

"Draco you...you're a cutter." Harry said 

Draco thought about this long and hard then finally said. "Harry, I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I don't care if anyone knows either because I just want to be with you. Love, I know I cut myself but it's only because...well because being with you makes me want to be with you 24/7. Being without you just drives me crazy!" 

"Draco. Are you telling me the only way you stop cutting your self is when I'm with you? Are you asking me to be with you every waking minute?" 

"No...Yes...me… I don't know. Harry, all I know right now is that I'm in love with you. I wish I could.... I could... I don't know. I just know how much I care for you." 

"I care so much for you Draco. But you're a walking coffin!" 

They sat patiently for a couple of silent seconds in the park. It was a beautiful day with the sun setting. The flowers were sprouting as it was early spring. Draco stared deep inside Harry's emerald green eyes, as if he was looking deep down inside Harry's soul, searching for answers. Searching for words Harry wanted to hear. The seconds seemed to turn into minutes; just like hours and soon it felt like years before anyone spoke. It was so quiet it hurt Draco's ears. He covered them then shut his eyes tight. He couldn't stand it anymore! The pressure and the intensity! He stood quickly and looked straight at Harry. He uncovered his ears and stared. He then quickly turned away and walked back to his dorm with Harry right behind his heels. 

"Draco!" Harry yelled. 

Draco turned around and waited. 

"Draco. When you asked me if I still cared and I said you were a walking coffin? I'm sorry. I do care for you and to show it..." Harry leaned in and kissed Draco's lips. They where wonderful, and so soft. Draco eyes fluttered shut on their own accorded as he added his own love into the mix. He loved Harry as Harry put his arms around Draco's neck, and up towards his head getting his fingers tangled in his hair. Draco put his arms around Harry's hips, pulling him closer as Gossip Ginger watched it all behind a bush in the park. She whispered to her self, "Now this is a good story!" She wrote it down on a note pad that she carried with her in case she spotted a story. This would make the front page of Hogwarts Express. If only Harry and Draco knew; if only they cared. 

  
The next morning, everyone stared. They looked at Draco funny and talked behind his back. They Ignored Harry. Ron ignored Harry. Hermione was the only one who went up to Harry that day. She wasn't happy either. 

"So you're gay?" She asked as if it was something questioned frequently. 

"What?!" Harry asked. His eyes widened. 

"It's on the front page! Harry and Draco up in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G! Read it yourself!" And with that she threw the page at him and ran off in disgust. 

**The Cause of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named's First Downfall- GAY? **

_Good boy Harry and Bad boy Draco? DATING! Yes dating. Seems Harry goes for the naughty boys and Draco must go for good young boys too! Well, well and I saw it with my own eyes Harry Potter, renowned Boy-Who-Lived, was making out with Draco Malfoy, known as the Slytherin Prince, telling him how much he loved him. I sat and watched the whole thing from behind a bush. _

Was she out of her mind! Has she never heard of 'privacy?!' Harry thought as he stood still. The bell rang but yet Harry didn't budge, as he read the page over and over. He didn't take his eyes off. Not even when Draco came rushing to him. 

"Harry! Harry I'm sorry! I didn't mean for this to happen! I promise! Harry I didn't know we were being spied on!" Draco took Harry's hand and making sure no one was anywhere near to where he led Harry, which was the abandoned classroom. There he took the newspaper out of Harry's hand and ripped it up. He closed the door and, conjured up some light and he kissed Harry. 

"Draco..." Harry started to cry softly. "Draco my friends have abandoned me...They won't even look at me! Ron's ignoring me! Hermione was so disgusted with me when she threw the paper at my face!" 

"Harry I'm so sorry... I wish I could help you. I wish I could, but you see, I'm in the same boat. Crabbe and Goyle have been doing the same." He stopped and looked at Harry. He wanted Harry so badly. But what about his reputation? He was supposed to be the best. He was supposed to be envied by all men and the main attention of all the pure-blood women. He was supposed to...he stopped thinking for a second when he noticed how beautiful Harry was; how delicate his skin felt as he brushed the back of his hand across Harry's cheek. He turned it around so the palm was holding Harry's cheek. Harry put his own hand over Draco's, and leaned into the embrace. He sniffled then made himself stop crying. 

"Draco I love you." He said. 

"I love you to Harry." He said as he leaned in kissing Harry again. 

Harry move closer to the desk bringing Draco with him. He sat on the edge, and Draco lifted his shirt up and over Harry's head. Then he took off his own. Quickly he cast a spell upon the room so no one could enter or watch them. Harry took a moment to memorize Draco's pale, still hairless chest with soft touch and nibbles here and there. Draco undid his soon-to-be-lovers first few trouser buttons, and stuck his hands down Harry's pants. He could already feel his love's half-hard erection. Harry laid down, pulling Draco on top of him. 

Draco had no idea where this would end up. He knew he was out of control, and didn't think he could stop if they went farther. He didn't want anything to happen to Harry. Soon he took his hands out of Harry's pants and stood up. "Harry… I don't want to hurt you." 

"Draco. I want this." Harry smiled his sexy smile. Draco couldn't stand it, and went back to ravishing the hot boy underneath him. He always gave in. But not today. It was too fast. "Draco is everything all right?" Harry thought for a second and then grabbed Draco's wrist. He turned it over. "Draco! You said you'd stop!" 

"Harry I need pain to know I'm alive." Draco tried to explain. 

"Draco I...I can't see you anymore...Not like this. Not when you're hurting yourself..." Harry stood up and got dressed and he soon left the room. Draco stared at his wrist. He then rubbed it against the desk until he made a cut and let the blood drip out. 

**_Thanks Quila!_**


End file.
